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It is common to sign on to Facebook to “check things out” and end up signing off 30 minutes later. With hundreds of friends and acquaintances to keep up with to the recently popular  Snake app, Facebook is like a black hole for your brain.

Most likely the most popular website of all time, Facebook serves two purposes, to keep you connected and also distracted. It is easy to get sucked into a photo album, even of someone you vaguely know and have little real life interaction with. Also, Facebook creates these interesting social situations where you can’t really remember if you know a nugget of truth about someone because they once told you about it or if you dug it up on their profile page. And if you did dig it up on their Facebook is it appropriate to bring up in common face-to-face conversation? Facebook is also rewriting the rules of dating. Friending has replaced the ultimate question of “how long should I wait to call?” Now it is “would it be weird if I friended them this soon?”

Facebook is the ultimate social network and is reshaping how people socialize in general. How we speak (terms like friended and tagged were virtually nonexistent in their current form 10 years ago), how we communicate with one another and how we follow all of our favorite things.

Text Message Typos

Recently I was directed to damnyouautocorrect.com, a hilarious collection of text messaging mistakes. With the popularity of touchscreen cell phones, the opportunity for messed up messaging is endless. The best part about it all is that it is totally by accident, unlike other funny text messaging sites like Texts From Last Night.

It is a great place on the web to stop by to distract yourself from that daunting paper, but beware it is addicting and can steal more time than you originally intended to waste.

Zombieland was released in 2009.

Zombies are relentless, monotonous and pretty reliable, well reliably consistent. The way you fight zombies hasn’t changed since their creation in the fiction world and that is reassuring. It is a plan and attack type situation, one down, a million to go, much like daily monotonous tasks, like checking e-mail.

In Chuck Klosterman’s New York Times article, My Zombie, Myself: Why Modern Life Feels Rather Undead, he talks about how the action of killing off zombies is much like the action of task killing, and that is why we as humans are comfortable and attracted to the zombie phenomenon. It is consistent, Klosterman writes, “If there’s one thing we all understand about zombie killing, it’s that the act is uncomplicated: you blast one in the brain from point-blank range (preferably with a shotgun).”

This comparison is really clever. Never before would I think of comparing decomposing, undead monsters to finishing up that lingering homework assignment. The general zombie story remains the same in most accounts, unlike and especially recent, vampire depictions. In a strange way an audience is comfortable with zombies, as if they present a certain danger, and severely gross appearance, but that danger can be easily diverted by following the zombie killing protocol. Like tackling assignments at school, zombie killing is annoying but doable.

Click here to see James Franco gag

James Franco looked dashing in a fitted suit and crisp white shirt, sporting a mustache. He has been chosen, along with Anne Hathaway, to host the Oscars. There is talk he could be nominated for his performance in “127 Hours.” He is pursuing a Ph.D and has various undergraduate and masters degrees. Even as accomplished and intelligent as Franco is, he still has the ability to get nervous.

During the interview, while Kimmel asked him about his pursuit of higher education, Franco couldn’t stop touching his neck and face and smiled coyly throughout the interview. At one point he even told Kimmel he was embarrassing him. It is refreshing to see a young, successful star who isn’t totally full of themselves.

It was a funny interview, which is to be expected from Kimmel, and Franco pulled an unexpected “impromptu” gag on the roof of the studios. It was a refreshingly entertaining interview.

Daniel Tosh is young, with a chiseled face and an infectious smile. He is funny, which is helpful because he is a comedian, and he is also socially aware. I’m not talking about knowing what the latest dish on Lindsey Lohan is, but rather, what social problems are in our country.

In the style of Stephen Colbert, Daniel Tosh in his tour “Daniel Tosh: Completely Serious” (2007), makes outrageous comments such as “I saw a guy wearing a Jesus bracelet and a Lance Armstrong bracelet, and he went up to this blind kid and rubbed his eyes, and the kid could see. But he wasn’t used to the light, ’cause it was bright, and he walked into traffic and was killed instantly.” This is offensive and darkly humourous, but it makes the point that just wearing bracelets are not going to solve a social problem, a person has to be active in a cause, not only wear a socially popular accessory.

This show was filmed in Los Angeles and Tosh opened it up about saying how he loves the diversity in the OC. He makes a lot of jokes about race and sexuality. He makes outrageous comments that make you laugh, and make you wonder why you’re laughing in the first place. Comedy has always been a free zone for social commentary, it is light and nonthreatening, and in that way it is an ideal mode of communicating ideas.

Last night while flipping through the channels I stumbled upon “Jackass: The Beginnings.” After 10 years of pranks, stunts, and self-deprication, this group of men could not be more proud of what they have accomplished on camera.

One of the highlights of the show was the cast and crew talking about where they found everybody, and how in the beginning no one really knew what they were doing. Steve-O, for example, was a circus clown in a shoddy, low budget production. During his audition tape he swallowed a goldfish, and attempted and succeeded, to painfully regurgitate it back into the fish bowl. During the interview he noted that those few minutes changed the rest of his life. If only all Americans could find success by ingesting and vomiting marine life.

Throughout the show, Spike Jonz, one of the creators of the show, also known for “Where the Wild Things Are” and “Being John Malkovich,” Johnny Knoxville, Wee-Man, Chris Pontius, and Bam Magera all talk about how they had no clue what they were doing. They were on a low budget and basically just filmed whatever they thought would be funny, not really thinking about how it would pan out. This happened with a prank that Pontius pulled dressed as the Devil and ended up getting beat up on the street. The best part of Jackass is the lack of professionalism. It is what makes the show.

All of the cast members, notably 10 years older, had gained a few pounds and had grayed a bit, but their personalities were still that of 22 year old college students who ditch class to go skate. MTV and the early 2000s would not be the same without this rowdy bunch of lovable, dirty hooligans.

Airport Music: Live

Ray Benson, member of Asleep at the Wheel, plays at the airport twice a year.

 

Travelers grab a Lone Star beer at the bar at Ray Benson’s Roadhouse across a gate in the terminal. A young woman wheels a carry-on as she weaves through tables and chairs, trying to find a seat to relax and read her newspaper. Families share a plate of barbeque trying to kill time and hunger before their connecting flight, and one woman sets up a microphone and does a sound check for today’s performance at the Asleep at the Wheel’s guitarist’s namesake.

Nancy Coplin has booked over 4,000 bands and singers/songwriters to play at the Austin-Bergstrom International Airport. Her desk is surrounded by signed head shots of performers, stacks of CDs from inspired local bands hoping to get booked and across the room sits a library of music that has graced the stage or the intercom of the gateway for thousands of travelers a day.

To Coplin, who has been booking bands, managing sound and setting up the stage for 11 years, bringing in local talent and new talent, as much as possible, is key to what make the airport performances special.

“I like to give new people a chance. I just feel this is one of the few places in town that somebody new to town can get booked even if they don’t have a following, as long as their music is good,” Coplin said. “They are reaching a totally different audience than they normally would and I have heard many stories of people saying ‘oh this guy signed up on my e-mail list and when I went to Wichita, Kansas he showed up to the show because he knew we were coming.’ So it helps develop a fan base.”

As she walks through the terminal, she greets multiple people, asking about their weekends. She walks by James McMurty, at the airport to catch a flight to Boston, and asks him how he’s been. It’s rounding 3:30p.m., just about the time today’s act, Rodney Hayden, is supposed to perform. He is running late. The bartenders ask Coplin where the act is and she runs up to her office to give him a call. He got caught up at security.

Bands experience many things at the airport that they wouldn’t otherwise playing at a bar on 6th Street. For one, they can broaden their fan base by playing to an audience comprised of people from around the country, the world even, but when a band books a gig at the airport there is some red tape they have to get through. For one, because the airport has to be family friendly, bands have to censor their lyrics. Also, performers have to go through a full security check, as if they were boarding a flight.

To make this easier, each of the five venues at the airport has their own sound system so the bands only have to plug and play. In this sense Coplin has played roadie for thousands of performances. Also, sitting on the stage is a tie-dyed piano, donated on long-term loan by the Gibson Guitar Showroom.

“It’s so hard to bring a piano through security,” Coplin said. “There is a lot to think about when you come to play here.”

Rodney Hayden played on Monday Nov. 29.

Although a band may be popular and have good music, such as Grupo Fantasma, they would not be able to play at the airport because there are too many people in their band and they are too loud. Yes, too loud. Because of the proximity to the gates, Coplin has to consider a noise limit. Travelers need to be able to hear important information at their gates.

Coplin says that bands are very cooperative when dealing with all of the extra considerations. Delaware North Hospitality Management Company works with getting bands in, and Coplin says that they have played a key role.

“They have been instrumental in expanding the program,” Coplin said. “When I first started in ‘99 we had two shows a week; now we have 13. The city cannot invite the media in but because they’re a vendor here they can invite the media into their facility.”

Once Hayden, a singer songwriter in a worn and stained suede cowboy hat and stylish suede cowboy boots, got to the stage, Coplin chatted, while he “got dressed” after going through security. Hayden told her that he just finished a songwriting session with George Strait and Strait’s son Bubba. They talked casually as he took out his acoustic guitar and Coplin strapped on the headphones at the soundboard. The inside of the door was covered with stickers left by musicians, a testament of local bands leaving their mark on the gateway to the Music Capital of the World.

As Hayden played, children and adults took dollar bills to the tip jar, and travelers clapped after each song. Coplin talked about Sunny Sweeney, who played at the airport recently, and just signed a record deal and has her song “A Table Away” playing on country music stations around the country. When asked if Willie Nelson had ever played for travelers, Coplin said no but “anything is possible.”

Pepsi sponsors the live music performances.

“I would love for one day when Willie was traveling through the airport to hop up on stage and perform,” Coplin said.  “Willie is a national treasure.”

Other notable bands that have played the stage include Band of Heathens, Redd Volkaert, Sarah Hickman and Carolyn Wonderland. Coplin says the performers can make some extra money during the day, the travelers get to enjoy some free entertainment, and the employees get something to “break up the monotony of their day.” For the performers it creates a change of pace.

“From a creative standpoint it’s a creative gig,” Hayden said between sets. “I enjoy it because I am a songwriter, so all the songs I write about myself traveling around, I can look around and get new material.”

When it comes to who gets to perform, Coplin just looks for bands that sound good.

“Our travelers are meat and potato listeners,” Coplin said. “I used to be a cover band snob. Now I find that bands that do covers create an air of familiarity for the travelers. We want to make the music a place of comfort, and interest too, and fun.”

 

Frugal Gifts

I, like many college kids, do not have a money tree growing in my backyard so what I like to do when giving gifts at Christmas is let the creative juices flow.

What my friends and I often do is make custom gifts for each other. One year I went to Hobby Lobby and got the first letter of my friends’ names and then found little things that I could personalize them with that fit their character. It was a great success. For this your staple purchases will be the actual letter (just a few bucks), a bottle of Modge Podge (which you should keep on hand anyway), and some stickers/paint/glitter/magazine clippings.

Another fun idea is to take a story that someone you care about has told you or an experience that you shared and make a creative piece of literature (a poem or short story for instance) which you could accompany with some type of art or picture and frame for the recipient of the gift. Last year, my sister and I re-wrote the story that my grandparents told us about how they met and put a recent picture of them next to it. It is still on display in their dining room.

Who doesn’t love a great mix tape? Choose some songs that you and your friends love to dance to, a song that reminds you of that one time you went on a road trip and played it on repeat to belt out every lyric just right, or even the song you made that awesome dance video to. Spruce up the face of the CD and package it creatively and you have one heartfelt and practically free gift!

If you are super strapped for cash, go for the reliable homemade coupons. Maybe you are a killer photographer or painter and can give a coupon for a piece of your art. If you like to cook give a coupon for a free dinner or desert, or both! Think about what you are good at and some of the reasons why your family and friends love you and make a coupon out of it!

Although it is totally cliche to say, gifts from the heart are the best. Just stay away from Popsicle sticks and you are sure to please.

My mother is know around the family for having the most eccentric and ornament filled tree of the bunch. There are religious ornaments. clay, glass, plastic, cloth, beaded, random and themed, expensive and cheap decorations that adorn the lighted plastic pine. Even with the variety of ornaments, our glass and glittered pickle ornament gets lots of attention.

The pickle ornament is a German tradition in which the mother or father hides the pickle on a secret branch when the tree decorating is complete for one of the children to find on Christmas morning. That child gets special praise and a little something extra. It is a fun tradition that I like sharing with people who browse our collection of ornaments.

After Thanksgiving dinner we sat down with the adds from the paper and mapped out our plan of action. Once we decided which deals were worth chasing, we began mentally preparing for the craziness which we were certain would ensue.

We started at Wal-Mart at 11:45pm only to walk into a store of lines, waiting for the clock to strike midnight so they could purchase the big buys. Palettes of electronics, kitchen appliances, games and DVDs had been bombarded hours earlier, leaving only scraps for those who arrived late. People were swarming the aisles, some in pajamas, some still in their Thanksgiving best. Luckily we found a short line after we had picked up the few good deals we could, and only waited in line for about 30 minutes. We got out of Wal-Mart at about 1:30am.

With time to kill until Khol’s opened at 3am, we headed to IHOP to get some caffeine and much needed caloric energy. Many other Black Friday shoppers had the same idea and the place was filled with people stocking up on their coffee intake. By this time the cold front had completely kicked in so coffee was a hot item.

From there we unloaded the car and dropped off my mom, who just couldn’t make it, and headed back to Kohl’s. There was a line to get into the already open store, with people walking out with large boxes of pots and pans and griddles. Every square inch of the tiled floor was occupied by shoppers standing in line. We knew that if we waited in those lines we would never make the other deals, so we decided to hide our picks in the less popular clothes section and hoped they would be back when we returned later.

We got to JCPenny at about 4am and were delighted to see the minimal amount of shoppers in the store. Once we picked up what we were there for, we waited in a short line, paid and headed to Home Depot for my mom’s Christmas tree. When we got there at about 4:35am there was a short line of men, probably there for Shop Vacs. Because it was so darn cold we decided to wait in the car as long as possible. Then we got anxious and decided to rough it in the cold. The Home Depot employees, however, were wheeling around a cart with hot coffee, so that took some of the edge off. Once the store opened we got the tree and got out.

At 5am we headed to Dick’s Sporting Goods, which was the emptiest store of the night. Most likely all of the people who would have benefited from their sales were hunting at their ranches. Driving out of the parking lot we saw the outrageous lines at Target and Best Buy, which were testament to the hopeful shoppers willing to suffer to save some green.

Finally we went back to Khol’s to be pleasantly surprised that our goodies had been spared the madness. Then it was waiting in line for about an hour. When we went back to the car the sun was up. We got back home at 7:30am and crawled into bed.

Black Friday is a crazy American tradition, and even with all of the madness and chaos and sleep deprivation, it is an American tradition that I am glad I experienced.

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